I joined Princess Cruises in Jan-2006 & sailed with them until July-12. As an Officer of the Pursers Dept. on-board Princess Cruise Ships, I handled multiple profiles like Passenger Relations, Shore Excursions, Crew Office, etc. During my tenure with Princess, I came across Passengers & Crew from different nationalities and had some funny encounters with them on various occasions.
Most of the times, I was mistaken as an Officer of the Deck Dept. (Captain & his Officers on the Bridge), since as an Officer you wear the Whites with Epaulettes or a White Tuxedo on Formal Nights &
Cocktail Events, which is mostly for meet & greet and traditionally the
Officers from the Deck Dept. have generally been seen in the traditional whites
and so every time you are walking around the passenger areas on the ship, you are taken as one of them. You
are hit by some of the funniest request or questions, since it’s assumed that
an Officer has answer to all, which sometimes makes me wonder REALLY!
There have been times that it has been difficult to
control my laughter, but then in line of Duty I am not human & had to
control it like a remote functioned Robot. We did have a crack about it over
few Beers in the Officers Ward Room or Crew Bar and some of them even went to
our Back-Office Wall of Shame.
Below you will find few of the funniest questions,
request, complaints which every Employee working on a Cruise Liner will connect
with, specially the Purser’s Dept.:-
1.
A couple claimed the Captain
was "RUDE" because he did not wait two hours for them at a port, even
though they had left him a note earlier in their stateroom for the Capt. Stating
they would be late as they had "too much to do."
2.
A man on a cruise
around Alaska requested compensation for not being unable to "swim in the
swimming pool each day."
3.
A first-time cruise
passenger blamed the Captain for not warning him that he could get seasick, and
asked for a schedule of cruises in which he wouldn't get seasick.
4.
I had a funny complaint
once and had to deal with a Woman who expressed her disappointment with
Princess Cruises as the inside stateroom where she was staying did not have a
window to the Sea and furthermore she was unhappy as the Accommodation & Engineering
Dept. on-board are not able to install a window for her to enjoy the Cruise.
5.
A Lady Passenger walks
to the Passenger Services Desk & informs me that whether I could call the
Captain & tell him to slow down the Ship as there is a lot of movement. Looking
at her I just smiled & said, “Ma’am, we have just left St. Petersburg 5
mins ago and we are being towed by the Tugs.”
6.
A Woman joining the
Cruise at Ft. Lauderdale, Miami was denied boarding by CBP Officials as she was
not carrying her Passport and she came howling to me at the Princess check-in
desk stating that Princess did not inform her that she needed to carry her
Passport, I went blank looking at her and said, “Ma’am, this is a World Cruise”.
7.
A Passenger purchased a $29.00 beach
drop & back ticket at Grand Turk, Cayman Island. Upon his return he was
upset & shouting at the Shorex - JAP’s asking for a refund and asking for a
Manager. I politely introduced myself and asked what went wrong on the tour so
that I can bring it to the attention of the Tour Operators. He replied, “Princess
did not inform me that there would be pebbles on the Beach & in the Water.”
My reply, “Sir - I will refund your tickets.”
8.
A Lady Cruiser complained to her
Stateroom Steward that she will not attend the Passenger Safety Drills as the
Life-Jacket did not match the color of her Shoes - So much for colorful safety
on-board.
9.
I had to once apologize to a Lady
Cruiser for an hour and gift her a Dinner at Sabatini’s (Italian Restaurant
on-board) and a bottle of Wine, since she was very upset that we went a day
ahead in Calendar as we crossed the International Date Line & she missed
her Birthday.
10. Passenger to Shorex Desk"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we
had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in
the price.”
11. A returning cruiser describing his horror at the Flights
booked by Princess Cruises, “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to
England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair
by Princess.”
12. A Letter of Complaint written to Princess Cruises, Santa
Clarita Office by a Cruiser, “My Fiancé and I requested twin-beds when we
booked, but instead we were upgraded placed in a room with a king bed. We now
hold Princess Cruises responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact
that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the
room that we booked.”
13. A
guest complained after coming from an Embera Indian Excursion in Panama that he
was very upset that the Indigenous local tribe in the Embera Village only spoke
Spanish.
14. I
met a Passenger at Churchill’s, The Cigar Lounge during a Formal Night and we
had a small discussion over a drink & a smoke,
Passenger:
“This is a Big Boat and I’m always lost and can’t find my way.”
Me:
“Oh! Not to worry Mr. XX, you'll get used to it.”, and hand him a Ship’s Map, explaining him the way around.
Passenger:
“So how many people fit in this Boat?”
Me:
“We are sailing full with all berths occupied and a total Passenger count of
4225 and 1475 Crew.”
Passenger: “Does the Crew stay on-board,
I thought they come only when the Ship is in Port.”
15. A
Lady Cruiser wrote a letter to the Passenger Services Desk complaining about
the Captain of the Ship and she was very upset with him. The Letter read as
below:-
“I am very unhappy with the Captain. I
have been on the cruise for 7 days now and my Stateroom is on the Port-Side of
the Ship from where the Sun rises and not once has the Captain has turned the ship
towards the Starboard where Sun sets and that has spoiled my Tan. Due to the Captain’s
inability to turn to starboard I haven’t got a proper Tan on my right Boob and
my Fiancé is upset about it and refuses to have Sex with me. Please could you
inform the Captain to turn to Starboard tomorrow, so that my right Boob can bronzed
properly.” This still figures on the Wall of Shame in the Back-Office
on-board Diamond Princess.
16. Me:
“Welcome to Princess Cruises, how are you today?’
Passenger:
“Honey, He’s Foreign.” turns back to me & smiles and starts speaking very
slow English, “Hello! (Glances at my name Tag) Kinnar, I have never heard of a
country called ‘SHOREX’! Where is that?’
Me:
“Sir, that’s actually the department I work in. I’m from India.”
I will shortly post some insights of a Purser's Life on-board Cruise Ships. How does an Officer of the Purser's Dept. spend the 24 hours of the day on a Cruise Ship.
Kinnar Solanki
Twitter: @kinny77
